The tragedy of this grisly Alberto El Patron and Paige business is in its inevitability.
It would be remiss not to mention it in this article – after all, awarding the newly-unified GFW Championship to a man recently investigated for domestic violence is surely the most blackly comic LOLTNA moment ever, utterly insane in its incompetence – but this isn’t the sort of thing I want to see crop up on Twitter feeds as fodder for this article. I want to see more pornography companies producing parody films of iconic wrestling moments. I want to read about all about how Ryback came up with Hulkamania. Paige’s sad, Einstein practise of lunacy – returning to an allegedly abusive relationship with the repressed knowledge that things in these circumstances never change – is becoming scary. There’s no salty humour in it, nor any humour at all.
The situation is looking grim. Paige’s social protests have been undermined by those of her brothers and damning audio of the recent airport scuffle which, at this rate, might be old news, so quickly is the couple spiralling into something very dangerous. Your writer hopes that a happy conclusion can be found for all.
Onto the salt…